A: Hollywood is calling and wants him to co-star in a sequel to "Speed Racer" Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Absolutely hillarious car one-liners! This classic comedy shows us the Ballad of Ricky […] After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Danica Patrick, whom the boy firmly believes is not capable of beating anyone." "Marvelous! Unfortunately, Jeff isn't able to catch him, and Bobby falls again, bounces and comes back up again. ...robbed banks and hired only professionals to be part of his crew. It's now my nascar. The campaign is based around how much change there is in NASCAR this season, from a highly revamped schedule to new teams, a young defending champion in Chase Elliott, a new member of the Fox broadcast booth in Clint Bowyer, and a more diverse sport overall. Curry was automatic in this one. The priest replied, "No....I think I'll just wait for the police." Potato “I’m very pleased at the stance that NASCAR has taken,” Lester told USA TODAY Sports . See TOP 10 car one liners. NASCAR Cup series latest news, highlights, live race coverage, race results, standings, schedules, photo galleries, and driver stats. Because everytime I do good I find away to wreck it before I finish! Q: What do Matt Kenseth fans use for Birth Control? Q: What do you call 1,000 Restrictor plates at the bottom of the ocean? Stewart was one of five inductees Friday night into the 11th class of NASCAR's Hall of Fame — a group that is essentially a celebration of Joe Gibbs Racing. A couple of laps later, the bartender says "Earnhardt Jr is up to 10th". 14 of 25 asks The Rainbow Warrior, "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" I got this one for Rusty, and I got this one for Jeremy." All sorted from the best by our visitors. A: He Loves Getting Slammed In The Rear. A: Half the cars in Sundays Race. The dog jumps up again and runs around the barstool 10 times. When Kyle came out, Jeff was confused about why he had been in there so long. Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. A: Come and join me! NASCAR was alerted and contacted the FBI, which sent 15 agents to the track to investigate. These horses are quick!" "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." It’s no different for their film, Talladega Nights. Aw, come on, man. NASCAR Apparel, Diecasts Michael McDowell 2021 Daytona 500 Champ Gear. He carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Q: What did the ace car say to the letter R? It’s A Lifesaver. Get hot dog crazy. ...and connected the enclosure to the house wifi. Bungee Jumping As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young woman sat down next to him. screams the cop. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up in the square. NASCAR at Daytona: Betting pioneer reveals 2021 Daytona 500 picks. A few laps later, the bartender says "Earnhardt Jr is up to 3rd", after which the dog again jumps up and runs around the barstool 3 times. knocks him off the stool and onto the floor. You name it, and You Got It!" But how will drivers know they’ve entered the last lap of the race? I'm Matt Kenseth a NASCAR driver. Go behind the scenes as Clint Bowyer entertains NASCAR fans At the Mobil 1 250K Jackpot event in Las Vegas, fans were treated to Stewart-Haas Racing driver Clint Bowyer's one-liners. After a short while he asked her what she did. Tony Stewart goes searching for a Anniversary Present for his wife when he goes into a department store and approaches a salesclerk, "I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," Tony says, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, "but I don't know her size." A: Their Last Big Hit Was "The Wall". The man says 150. Did you hear? You each deserve a reward. Dale looks at him and just points and says " The Potato goes in the front " And Martin was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment. After discovering it's just a human traffic ring. Certainly one of those highlights occurred when Patrick joined a troupe of Las Vegas showgirls in a dance routine while wearing a traditional Vegas costume that was, to say the least, eye popping. "No," Gordon says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." Michael McDowell is the 2021 Daytona 500 Champion! They jump in and save him. 2 Mexican guys move to America from Mexico. Thinking Q: What Does Dale Earnhardt And Pink Floyd Have In Common? Mark Martin, Rusty Wallace and Dale Earnhardt found themselves in hell. NASCAR Cup series latest news, highlights, live race coverage, race results, standings, schedules, photo galleries, and driver stats. A: Telling your parents that your Lesbian! Jeff Gordon is out taking a stroll in the snow. The guy says, “168.” The robot continues to talk about physics, space exploration, and medical technology. Q: Why Do Rednecks Only Drive On A Racetrack? To which he replied, "Well, ma'am I have spent my whole life on the track, testing chassis, testing engines,testing tires, winning races and I even won the NASCAR Sprint Cup." Q: Where Can You Find Thousands Of Redneck Jokes? Bite into the goodness. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Normally they seem to like seeing things turning to the left. Page 4. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. 2 NASCAR drivers fight on track after late crash --On future Stewart-Haas Racing driver Clint Bowyer’s electrical fire in the car: “Glad he got out of that. It’s just all lefts, all lefts, all lefts. The voice of the Devil was heard: "Rusty, YOU HAVE SINNED!!! Again, Jeff misses him. See TOP 10 car one liners. Jeff Burton went to work for the telephone company so he could finally get on the pole. Remember we’re talking about an unctuous prick that has left nothing but pithy one-liners, lies and misstatements in his wake. They watch nascar drivers lean left 500 times every Sunday and just cant take anymore left in their life. Q: Why Do Rednecks Do It Doggy Style? Q: How can you tell when Mark Martin is going to say something intelligent? Dale Earnhardt, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst...when the third door opened.... And as the door...inched...open...., he strained to see the figure of...a 1998 Dodge VIPER!!! The robot then says, “What’s your IQ”? And if you’re heading to a NASCAR race, know what items to take (and not to take) so […] He is wearing a bra and a lace garter belt. Have you Heard? Was the cord too long?" "I'm afraid not," explains The WonderBoy. Now instead of making left turns, they're going all right, all right, all right, because no-one else would be able to ketchup. I got this one for Rusty, and I got this one for Jeremy." It was a 1978 Gremlin it was over smashed in every which direction, covered in thick hand paint-brushed house paint and lots of "peace" symbols and hippie colors. A Collection of short, funny jokes about Nascar, F1 and Auto Racing! if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); "Two," Stenhouse said for the record. Q: What would Dale Earnhardt be doing if he was alive today? Q: Why did NASCAR outlaw the Polish victory lap? "Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?" A ten-year old boy was at the center of a Maricopa County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. "Her hands are just slightly smaller that yours." They drove up to the farm, Kyle got out and knocked on the front door and was let in. That dog is amazing!! I just can’t be in a relationship with someone who’s raceist, But he got angrier when I pointed out they still wave it on the final lap every race. A: A true restrictor plate This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when the second door opened...and they saw an even MORE disgusting example of automaking gone wrong. From the duo that brought you Anchorman and Step Brothers, Will Ferrell and Adam McKay are known for writing ridiculous characters who spit out quotable one-liners. Q: Why isn't NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield worried about reportedly testing positive for methamphetamines again? Stewart was one of five inductees Friday night into the 11th class of NASCAR's Hall of Fame — a group that is essentially a celebration of Joe Gibbs Racing. And Rusty, like Martin before him, was whisked off. His biggest mistake was in hiring an ex-Nascar driver as his get away man. In fact, she delivered some one liners that was actually funnier than what comedy veteran Jay Mohr delivered at the NASCAR awards. A man walks into a bar with his dog. You flush a bag of M&M's down the toilet. Meaty mighty goodness. the sales girl queried as she wrapped the gloves. Bobby Labonte and Jeff Burton are bungee-jumping one day. Vegas bookmaker Micah Roberts, who called the winners of the Daytona 500, Pennzoil 400 and Toyota 500 last year, is revealing his picks and leaderboard for one of the biggest sporting events in the country, Sunday's Daytona 500. Funny One-Liners Cheesy Jokes Funny Pick Up Lines. And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" One day a farmer's mare birthed two foals. Non Athletic Sports Centered Around Rednecks. "What the hell is going on here?" How does that work?" The third kid says, "I'd like a electric twin-turbo wheelchair with a HiFi stereo and Cruise Control." And then, from NASCAR's one-liner maestro, Waltrip: "Only thing I wonder about is, do they have one motor coach now, or two? Well, Jeff made him go up to the farm house and apologize. The word is more than appropriate.) Al Unser Jr. A: In case they get indy-gestion. These hilarious Talladega Nights quotes will make you feel like a winner. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. What does he do if Earnhardt Jr wins?" "My God," exclaims Jeff, "When did you start wearing women's underwear?" Q: What don't drivers eat before a big race? There has been some really stiff competition lately! "What did you tell the farmer?" Q: What Does Brittany Spears And Dale Earnhardt Jr Have In Common? Child Welfare Bobby falls again and bounces back up. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS." Explore the latest NASCAR news, events, standings & social posts! The commercials at this spot in the countdown pay respect to him in a more than proper way. Because women always think they're right. Just look at our cars. Though he may be a… From the duo that brought you Anchorman and Step Brothers, Will Ferrell and Adam McKay are known for writing ridiculous characters who spit out quotable one-liners. Gordon beams. Q: What do you call Michael Waltrip racing with his car tied to the back of Jeff Gordon's? They decide to each go their own way and try to adapt to the culture of their new home. Dale Earnhardt Jr Q: Why Is Tony Stewart Always In The Lead? Auto-Racing, NASCAR, F1 Jokes << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! Absolutely hillarious car one-liners! It was multi-colored with plenty of rust and primer...dirty interior..and you could smell it even over the Brimstone. Jimmie Johnson was just sitting in the Drivers Lounge chatting with Dale Earnhardt Jr, drinking his Diet Mountain Dew and minding his own business when all of a sudden Kyle Busch comes in and WHACK!! The fucker kept driving around in circles. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); (Prices may vary for AK and HI.) Ferrell and McKay love making their characters look stupid. I spend my whole day thinking about women. Penske smiles and says, "These aren't dogs. A: Their personalities. "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be a accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!" Out jump two of his pit crew members in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers while another two get out of the back seat and begin checking the car. Kyle goes out for 3 straight days with no luck. © One little boy stands up and offers that "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy." A: Because They Can Not Drive On The Road! One day a farmer's mare birthed two foals. "Oh, yes," he answers. He's about to leave when he sees Dale Earnhardt Jr and says " I don't understand, I did what you said and now NO WOMEN will come anywhere near me!" NASCAR live race coverage, latest news, race results, standings, schedules, and driver stats for Cup, XFINITY, Gander Outdoors Never go hungry again. ", Smiling, happy, the engineer says, "Bartender, shots for everyone!". The mechanic says, "Good trade, sir." The three-time NASCAR … One of those 3-pointers … Matt Kenseth's car breaks down on the Interstate, so "9:12" eases over onto the shoulder. Webpage: https://mrautosportfan.comPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrAutosportfan It’s no different for their film, Talladega Nights. NASCAR. Here's another miracle. What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. NASCAR Cup Contenders Press Conference: The Best One-Liners And Trash Talk From Jimmie Johnson, Denny Hamlin And Kevin Harvick By Jeff Gluck Nov 18, 2010, 3:56pm EST / new A: Because it was interfering with Jeff Burton's ability of finish the race! All sorted from the best by our visitors. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women." Small Town NASCAR Cup Contenders Press Conference: The Best One-Liners And Trash Talk From Jimmie Johnson, Denny Hamlin And Kevin Harvick By Jeff Gluck Nov 18, 2010, 3:56pm EST / new Tony Stewart and Jeff Gordon are changing clothes in the locker room. Quick, Funny Jokes! Changing Clothes Lester, 59, competed in NASCAR Cup, Xfinity and Truck series from 1999 to 2007. Bobby Labonte is in the Hospital! These are genuine Labrador Retrievers. These are genuine Labrador Retrievers. "Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs a bra and panties." The largest collection of car one-line jokes in the world. The robot says, “What’s your drink”? The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. The two horses grew up and loved to race each other. He sits down and asks how Dale Earnhardt Jr is doing. Tony takes off his T-shirt and shorts. Anniversary Present The kid says, "I will be when my father, Jimmie Johnson, finds out who I saved from drowning." Check back for more NASCAR Cup Series merchandise for authentic gear throughout the new season that kicked … "Will there be anything else?" He was in there for what seemed like hours. "Viper, YOU HAVE SINNED.... Looks like all those years of turning left rubbed off on them. Livestream upcoming NASCAR races online on FOXSports.com. Funny One-Liners Cheesy Jokes Funny Pick Up Lines. In a timid voice, he speaks: "If an airplane carrying Tony Stewart, Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon crashed into a mountain, that would be a tragedy." A: So They Can Both Watch The Race A: Caution Flag Yellow Authorities believe it to be race-related. Let me just have some. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have? You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in the drivers seat of this car!" See TOP 10 car one liners. They determined no federal crime was committed. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups occurs. Q: What is Kevin Harvick's favorite color? Three kids see it happen. The National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR) makes and enforces numerous rules and regulations that transcend all racing series.. NASCAR issues a different rule book for each racing series; however, rule books are published exclusively for NASCAR members and are not made available to the public. A: For identification. The Mechanic waves and says, "Welcome back, Roger, Nice dogs, sir." It has a top speed of 34, the electrics don't work, and the radio works but only plays the theme from "Hawaii Five-O" and you cant turn it off. My girlfriend told me my love making reminds her of Earnhardt Jr. Drivers Lounge Superman thinks "GEEZ,what the hell has gotten into Kyle" but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden WHACK!! The largest collection of car one-line jokes in the world. There's nothing left but we are unhurt. A Collection of short, funny jokes about Nascar, F1 and Auto Racing! The Priest agrees completely, so Matt opened the bottle took 3 big drinks and then handed the bottle to the priest. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. A: They Both Blow Rods "Ever since my wife found them in my glove compartment." "I’m not sure what to do with my hands." Best consumed, every time. The priest said he agreed and took the bottle, didn't drink at all, put the cap on, and handed it back to Special K. Eat a hot dog. A year later they bump into each other. Apparently he hasn't passed anything for almost 2 years! This classic comedy shows us the Ballad of Ricky […] One was named Hobbin, and the other Noggin. A man walked into a very high-tech bar. Hungry? Kyle knocks him down AGAIN, and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." Matt Kenseth and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. No matter how hard I try I still can't outrun a Nascar. Jimmie Johnson goes into a bar still dressed in his race suit and ordered a drink. After she ordered her drink she turned to "Superman" and asked him, "Are you a real race car driver?" These hilarious Talladega Nights quotes will make you feel like a winner. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. They were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, behind the door was perhaps the ugliest 1973 Pinto they had ever seen. “It’s long overdue. Car Breaks Down So the next day he entered them i. This must be a sign from God." "These are my emergency flashers!" My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Blue Nun wine didn't break, surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Despite some winning one-liners and sight gags he considered the episode among the weaker episodes of the season so far and hoped for more in future episodes. Of all the epic one-liners on this list, this one is easily the most dark and hardcore. "What the hell are you supposed to be" Asked the Host. A: A Good Start. Q: What's the hardest thing about trying to become the first woman to win the Daytona 500? The robot then pours his whisky and proceeds to talk to the man about the space time continuum, time travel, and the multiverse. One was named Hobbin, and the other Noggin. The man replies, “Whisky”. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward Matt's disabled vehicle yelling, Knocks the daylights out of Little Busch, leaving him out cold! A: A Monte Carlo Seats 6. Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying:... "What?" Just imagine how unfair it would be for a horse in NASCAR. And the priest said, "I agree with you completely. A: On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside! Q: What Does NASCAR Stand For? In fact, she delivered some one liners that was actually funnier than what comedy veteran Jay Mohr delivered at the NASCAR awards. Al Unser Jr calls the police, and says, "They stole my dashboard, they stole my steering wheel, they stole my brake pedal, Hell, they even stole my gas pedal..." Jeff Gordon is visiting a school. replied Matt! Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks. Q: If Robert Pressley, John Andretti and Geoff Bodine were in a boat and the Boat Sinks, Who Would be saved? The Champ looks at Dale Earnhardt Jr and says, "When he comes to, tell him that's 'Crowbar from Lowe's'." One day the farmer noticed the two racing each other around the pasture and thought to himself, "Wow! A: At Any NASCAR Event Car Accident 2019 Panini Victory Lane Nascar Racing EXCLUSIVE Blaster Box 1 Pack 10 Cards One AUTOGRAPH or MEMORABILIA Card Chase HAILIE DEEGAN AUTOS Chase Pedal to the Metal HOLOGRAPHIC INSERTS Look for Cards, Memorabilia and Autographs of your Favorite Drivers & Legends including Dale Earnhardt Jr, Danica Patrick, Kevin Harvick, Jimmie Johnson, Richard Petty, Kyle Busch ,Tony Stewart, Dale … Apparently NASCAR fans didn't want to mix the races.... With patches all over their suits telling us who their “sponsors” are. The robot asks, “What will you have?” The guy replies, “Whisky.” The robot brings back his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ? And Matt Kenseth said, "and look at this. After they have everything ready, they decide to give the crowd a demonstration. The mechanic says, "Good trade, sir." "Will this help?" "God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in the drivers seat of this car!" Certainly one of those highlights occurred when Patrick joined a troupe of Las Vegas showgirls in a dance routine while wearing a traditional Vegas costume that was, to say the least, eye popping. He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate Committee appointed to look into it. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left. To be frank, you’ll love to eat one. A Tradegy I'm not surprised at all though. A: Banging On The Lid Of The Casket Trying To Get Out Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. He told Kyle that the next time hes on the beach to put him a potato in his trunks and the ladies will gather round. Jeff asked, "Aren't you going to have any?" The voice of the Devil was heard: "Mark, YOU HAVE SINNED!!! The 60-second spot -- first playing on TV during Rams-Packers at 4:30pm ET on Fox and available to download here-- is directed by Joseph Kahn, who also directed Fox’s “Daytona Day” spot in ’16, and it intersperses some new one-liners with drivers that it just recorded this past week in Charlotte. It's not very long before a police car shows up. Q: What is the difference between Tony Stewarts car and a porcupine? The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. A: When he taps you on the shoulder and asks "Are we watching qualifying?" The first kid says, "I'd like to go to Disneyland." Q: Why does a Formula One driver carry crap in his wallet? This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Kyle Busch and Jeff Gordon were driving around a small country town when Kyle accidentally hit and killed a goat. The Rainbow Warrior says, "I'll send you and your whole family for a week at Disneyland." Love every bite. Icy Bridge nascar TALLADEGA, Ala. — Denny Hamlin, whose history of delivering one-liners goes about as far back as his disputes with Brad Keselowski, showed he … Experience the flavor. The three-time NASCAR … Bobby jumps and bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the Jeff notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. "I don't know", says the man, "I've only had him for 2 years!" , And he's making racers drive the opposite direction. If you’re a newcomer to NASCAR, learning some basics — like the differences between the NASCAR series and what the flags signal during a race — will have you talking like a race pro in no time. A short while later she left and the "Lowe's" Racer ordered another drink . Q: Do race drivers stop and take a nap? she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his. One time I went to a craft fair, and I see a jar of jellybeans, it said "Guess how many jellybeans are in the jar, and you win a prize." Or get 4-5 business-day shipping on this item for $5.99 . You’ll never settle for just one. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy". Then, before the cops can ask where he is, he says, "Hey, never mind, I'm in the back seat." Bobby says to Jeff, "You know, we really suck as racers but I bet we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real NASCAR driver?" Luckily, Jeff finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. Grab an official Michael McDowell Daytona 500 Champ diecast and more from our Daytona 500 merchandise to celebrate his Daytona win and add to your collection. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Q: What is the worst thing about 5 Jeff Gordon Fans going over a cliff in a Monte Carlo? You’ll never go wrong with a hot dog. A Sprint Cup race is on a TV. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. Almost every detail of a NASCAR car is handmade. Kyle Busch replied, "I told him I was driving around with Jeff Gordon and I'd just killed the old goat." Well I don't know which one has more money but I'll tell you what… either one could burn a wet mule with hundred dollar bills. The man finishes his drink, and leaves the bar. Mobil 1 250K Jackpot Wait a second, you're not handicapped, You don't need a Wheelchair." Although the race cars display the brand names Ford, Chevrolet, Dodge, and Toyota, none of them originated from an assembly line in Detroit or Japan. One day the farmer noticed the two racing each other around the pasture and thought to himself, "Wow! Auto-Racing, NASCAR, F1 Jokes << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! A: Yeah, when they are getting tired. The two horses grew up and loved to race each other. To which he replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian too." This must be a sign from God. A: Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks Quick, Funny Jokes! **They should ban the Finish Flag, it has a "Checkered" past. Absolutely hillarious car one-liners! Penske smiles and says, "These aren't dogs. 2 NASCAR drivers fight on track after late crash --On future Stewart-Haas Racing driver Clint Bowyer’s electrical fire in the car: “Glad he got out of that. She replied, "I am a lesbian. The bartender says "WOW! "My car broke down," says Special K, calmly. Bobby says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the hell is a "pinata?" Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither are hurt. **, While nascar drivers take all lefts... McConaughey takes alrights alrights alrights. A girl raises her hand. They crawl out of their cars and 'Special K' sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. He hit 10 3-pointers in the game and dropped 40 points in a 111-104 win for the Warriors. Click here for more information. Jimmie is gone for about an hour when he returns. Q: How can you tell when a NASCAR fan is watching a Formula One race? The second boy says, "I'd like a 4 wheeler so I can Go out mudbogging out behind my house" Gordon says, "I'll get you the best Four Wheeler With all the safety Features and I'll have someone teach you how to drive it safely." Kyle Busch was looking to find a woman so Dale Earnhardt Jr decided to help him out. Hell None - they took the wheels off their homes years ago. Without saying a word, he walks up behind Kyle Busch and Wham! A Mechanic is standing outside the garage as Roger Penske is coming in to check out the new Taurus, and can't help but notice that Mr. Penske has a Dog under each arm. explained the man in black. Gordon asked. Mechanic The largest collection of car one-line jokes in the world. Q: How can you tell when a nascar fan is watching a Formula One race? In nascar they wear their sponsors on their shirts. The bartender says "Earnhardts is in 25th". The dog jumps up, and runs around the barstool 25 times. Few sports are as quotable as NASCAR. Q: How can you tell when a NASCAR fan is watching a Formula One race? Delighted, Dale Earnhardt, taking in the sight of this beautiful piece of Automaking Delight, Shiney and powerful this car is made to run like hell. Yo momma so ugly that we created a global conspiracy "plandemic" and ruined the world economy and expedited the new world order and ruined Trump's rally and banned the Confederate flag from nascar and cancelled major league baseball just so she'd wear a mask. Gordon will go down in NASCAR history as one of the five greatest drivers to ever get on the track. It perfectly sums up its movie's steadfast commitment to moral turpitude, all inside of four words. From drivers and spotters, to commentators and crew chiefs, to team owners and track presidents, the quotes fly fast and furious. NASCAR has reached the point where the race cars have very little in common with street cars. Hot dogs… Are also a man’s best friend. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy." A: He starts out with "I once heard Tony Stewart say......" He slips off a Icy bridge, hits his head, and falls into an icy river. When he comes to, he says, "Boys, you saved a Three Time Winston Cup Champion. Rowdy Busch says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." "Wonderful!"
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